Since the first living creature emerged from the sea and began living on dry land there have been PR firms backed by major corporations trying to sell them something. Anything really, a little of this, a little of that mainly; but none are more feared and therefore successful (figure that one out) than two or three, or hell even nine products all wrapped around one main theme and sprinkled with a hearty dosage of hate.
Of course it helps when said theme is a multi million dollar video game franchise and fan boys everywhere are salivating for anything with a logo slapped on it, but I digress…
Reason #4
You, yes you, will buy anything.
The Responsible Party(s)
Microsoft
Bungie
Mountain Dew
How They’re Getting Rich out of Hating the Shit out of You
Enter, Halo. Does it feel like your beloved Master Chief has been doing a lot less world saving and a hell of a lot more money grubbing lately? Well that’s because he has. 2007 brought us one of the most hateful ad campaigns the world has ever seen. You can still taste that gamer fuel can’t you? You can still remember that armor-clad warrior staring back at you from the bottle seemingly nodding slowly and sternly in approval of your fine choice of soda can’t you?
Hmm… good times I suppose…
Until that teeny tiny little thought appeared in the back of your head similar to “this tastes like shit”. But wait! What are you thinking?! This fine soda with it’s dehydrated urine and orange peels hue surely can’t be bad. After all it’s being marketed by Microsoft, and Bungie! They love you, they want you to be happy, they want to come to your house and sprinkle puffed cheetos all over you as you wade in a tub of their delicious new creation, the bubbles tickling you as you smile heartily at the Recon armor you just knew you would get! You’ve given hours, days even of your life to their wondrous creations and they made this as a genuine way of saying thank you, right? RIGHT!?!
Why does This Mean They Hate Me?
This may be a special scenario but in this case they don’t just hate you. Nope, they hate you, your wife/girlfriend, your kids, your parents, your grand-parents, pretty much everyone you associate with. By getting inside your head and forcing (lawsuit ho!) you to spend your hard earned money on crappy soda, a tacky helmet you can’t wear or third rate novels they are in-fact destroying you and your family.
Hungry? Better check that bank account. What? You spent all of your grocery money on the new Halo figurines they just released. Well, little Timmy is looking sick! You better take him to a doctor. What’s that, you have no money for the co-payment? But you have plenty of gamer fuel? That stuff must be just as good, hell if not better than medicine, give some to the tot, and make it snappy! Oh no, what’s that? You’ve being arrested for child abuse? Sent to a county prison? You are actually getting ass raped? RIGHT NOW?!
I rest my case…
Tune in next week for Reason #3 why the games industry hates and how it’s making them filthy rich.
Oh, and Don’t Panic.
Monster taming RPG 'Monster Crown: Sin Eater' will be coming to Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X|S and PC on April 30th, 2026.
SNK and PLAION have announced the Neo Geo Advanced Entertainment System+. Launches November 12th, 2026.
Sadly when i try to checkout, it wont let me select United States. their site thinks i'm in another zone for some weird reason.
edit... it was my office internet being the issue. i did it on my phone through cellular and it worked. Got me a white one.
it lets me order from Canada.. only charges me $20 for shipping too.
That being said. Spending $533 (CDN) on the white unit for it to primarily just sit and collect dust would be a little foolish.
It's an awesome idea though.
I almost went for the ultimate edition... as that truly is the best deal. the games by themselves are $90 (US), that alone is $900 in value for all 10 titles. then add in the $250 for the console and wired stick. Another $120 for a wireless stick, $60 for a wireless pad and then $35 for the memory card. $1365 (US) if all bought separately.
I just had to... I already have an AES with a multi-cart. But this thing was just too good to pass up. Especially since the wireless controller works on regular AES and the game cart does as well. Plus it comes with a matching white memory card.
@darthv72 - I'm not a collector of games for these retro consoles (have the Analogue Super NT (SNES), Mega SG (Genesis) and 3D (N64). But I just use everdrives with each system as I only have a couple of SNES carts and only 2 N64 carts. A lot of these games are stupidly expensive so I'd rather just invest in a single everdrive and then I can just run every game. However the everdrive that works with the AES is $600! Crazy stuff.
^^...that is why i got one of those 160-1 carts off aliexpress. it works great. and yeah i use everdrives and ODE where available. i do like to buy PS4/5 games and Switch stuff though. I dont buy much in the way of physical XB anymore, I just use GPU to play what I like.
Had no idea SNK were still around tbh. What have they been working on for the last decade or two?
This brings back memories. I remember when I first saw Neo Geo back in 1991, it was $649.99 at launch, which would equal $1,575 today. I was thinking holy shit who is going to buy that when SNES was $200 and Genesis was $189. Well I was wrong, 😂 it sold for 14 yrs. My ringtone is the Neo Geo jingle https://www.youtube.com/wat... 😁
Engineer Hugh is sent from Earth to investigate a malfunctioning research station and meets a young android who helps him fend off murderous mechs.
I love the sarcastic way you went about writing this piece! "Whats that? you dont have any money for the co-payment?" Cheers man!!!